Dear Other Fiber Arts,
Please don’t take this the wrong way, you guys, but, I’ve found a better process. I assure you, you’ve done nothing wrong, but, my heart is set on something else. Something kind, and forgiving.
I know you are probably wondering why – I know this must be hard to hear, other fiber arts, but, it’s true. I don’t love you the way I love embroidery.
It’s because embroidery is everything the rest of you aren’t…
I think you all know I’ve given each of you a fair chance.
Weaving, you are so beautiful and regal, but gosh darn – you are so high maintenance… you require so much math and counting and you are impossibly unforgiving. One threading error and you send me back to the beginning… one broken thread and I’ve got to make all sorts of adjustments for you. All your tools take up a lot of room (al you do have quite a few), all your materials are kind of pricey and … well, it’s like I said, you’re high maintenance. It’s been a long time since we’ve mingled, weaving, and even though I think of you sometimes, I must say it’s not always fondly… You need to understand where I am coming from, it’s just hard to accommodate you… perhaps we will meet again some day for a brief rendezvous…
|finally onto the actually weaving part…|
Machine sewing – you and I, we go way back, and you know I love you, but, you aren’t easy to transport, you are very stuck in your ways and you aren’t very flexible. We always have to work around you, and your schedule, and when you want to work and when your lights are bright and when your needles are sharp and I always have to go to you. It’s just not as balanced of a relationship as I’d like. As much as I love you and I appreciate you for your quick and tight stitches, you aren’t my favorite. I’m sorry.
Similarly, quilting – there’s just not enough room for you here. I love your look, you’ve got a lot of really beautiful qualities but… you’re too much… much too much. I can’t get a handle on you. I give you an inch, quilting, and you take a mile.
Knitting, when done properly, you are gorgeous but – yikes-a-holy-moly you are are almost as high mantainance as weaving… and also quite unforgiving. One dropped stitch and all my hard work – all my beautiful even stitches- shot, done for. And, to be completely honest with you, knitting, your patterns may as well be written in Chinese – a language I am ridiculously unfamiliar with. All your crazy short hands K1P1, K2Tog? What the eff is tog? For real, give it to me in plain english. Knit two together? Okay that I get, tog – that sounds like a spelling error, something maybe about two frogs? I don’t know, man, you’re tough. I’ve tried many times to finish one of your projects, knitting, and make a sleeve, but you make it so hard. You really need to work on your communication skills. And I can’t stand the way you make me buy skeins but then take them home and struggle to find the middle so that I can pull the yarn out without knots or rewind the skeins into other skeins… Ugh!! I just can’t even look at you sometimes. And then, just when I think we can work it out – I go to the store to buy something for you and – there are too many freaking options, I get so overwhlemed I just forget it. Also you make my hands hurt.
|dyed fabric. (admittedly, not with dyes, but with wines… long story)|
Dye processes – you’re such a hot mess, I don’t know how to handle you. You want to get your color all over everyone – you little crafty naughty girl! Don’t even touch me. Don’t even think about me! And don’t you dare call me… I have changed your name in my phone to “do not answer.”
|a very tiny basket I wove once.|
Basket weaving… oh basket weaving. The quintessential fiber art of old. You are suuuuuch a handful, basket weaving… I know you’ve been around a while and I mean no disrespect but, geez, you are suuuuuch a handful. That’s really your only downside, that and, you are difficult to accommodate. I’m sorry basket weaving but, even when you are trying really hard, you’re kinda ho-hum boring… I wanna do something bright and fun and well, you like to stay home and collect stuff inside of you… it’s not really what I’m looking for right now. I’m sorry.
But embroidery – embroidery has brought me something the rest of you cannot. Ease, flexibility, more money in my bank account… more space on my shelves… and most importantly… embroidery isn’t so self centered. We can go out together, we can travel together… embroidery is very good at traveling, and it doesn’t take up a lot of room in my suitcase. Embroidery doesn’t weigh me down like the rest of you. The rest of you, you’re no fun to travel with (I’m looking at you, weaving…) and you certainly don’t make it easy to go on short trips either.With embroidery, should I put in a stitch that I don’t like, I can take it out, I get a re-do; no hassle – no crazy three hour fixes… we don’t even have to argue about it. And when I go to the store for embroidery – I find what I need and that’s it. Simple. The way I like it.
Lightweight, low maintenance, no electricity required… embroidery and I are meant to be together.
Embroidery and I have a good thing going and I’d appreciate it if you could all just let our relationship run it’s course and know that I have a special place in my heart for all of you.
Until we meet again,